ONE OF THOSE
I am one of those.
I am one of those people whose parents hit her for no rhyme or reason.
I shaved my legs, I died my hair, I spilt a glass of milk.
I was too fat, too thin, too pretty, too ugly....
I just was.
And through the looking glass of my television set I knew that they should not hit me.
I knew that I was inherently right and they were just plain wrong.
But what was I to do? I needed them.
I wanted to be just like everyone else and for that I got hit not once, not twice, but more times than I can count, more times than I can remember.
Then one day the pain stopped.
That was the day I knew I needed them to survive.
And so I forgot the beatings and awoke each day all brand new, fresh faced, wide eyed and hopeful, but the cycle continued.
I got hit, I got spanked because....
The mornings I found were soothing and calming filled with promise
If a cloud of rage came over my parents and colored their day, my life....
Flesh hitting flesh, a sound I forgot, but my body aches, my heartaches. I ache. I can't seem to not ache but I cannot feel the pain.