Who I am: A Choicemaker

I'm 35 and now a father. I know that you've been used to thinking of me as your "child" but, now that I have my own child, I need to be a parent and to be treated as an adult. That is, I need you to respect my choices.

If my choice leads to an error, it will be my mistake. If I make a mistake, it will be my correction that I have to make. If I succeed, it will be my success. If I don't succeed, it will be me who learns. No one else has to worry about it -- I'm an adult. An adult who is fully willing to take responsibility for his actions. I am a responsible adult.

If I would like to get your input on a choice that I will make, I may ask you for it. If I feel stuck, I may ask what you would do or I may not ask. Whatever you say, I may do it or not do it. However, if I'm not feeling stuck, I find unsolicited advice as nothing but annoying chatter. Annoying because it assumes that I have a problem. Annoying because I feel distrusted. Annoying because it makes me feel as though I'm not responsible. Annoying because it makes me feel like a child.

What happens if you think that I have a problem? No one else has to worry about it -- I'm a capable, responsible individual. I am a capable, responsible adult. If I think that I have a problem, maybe I'll let you know or, maybe I won't. It's my choice.

However, if you still think that I have a problem, I'd much rather you assume that I can figure it out. I'd much rather you trust that I can work it out. I'd much rather you trust that, if I'm feeling trapped, I will gladly check out your advice. I'd much rather you trust that I am -- an adult. An adult who can figure out what is best for him. An adult who can figure out what is best for his house. An adult who can consult with whom he feels most comfortable. An adult who can figure out what is spiritually beneficial for himself. An adult who can figure out solutions to errors. An individual who can figure out what is best for him.

I need you to respect my choices. I need you to respect my choices that are the same as your choices. I need you to respect the choices that are different from yours. I am who I am. I am who I will be. I am who I was. I am what I choose. I am what I chose. I am what I will choose. I need you to respect my choices. I need you to respect... me.

Bryan V.