My best friend passed away after having a valve replaced in her heart. We had an argument in the Hospital the day before she was to be discharged. I went home; and her Daughter and friend picked her up the next day. They spent the day, but left her alone and she died, on the floor. I walked around numb for months. I got a therapist. I told him my life was inside out and backwards. I tried to help everyone; but my life only seemed to get worse. He told me I was Codependent. I said everyone who is married is Codependent. No, he said you have it wrong, they are interdependent . I went to a group, and my journey on what I call my path of sanity began. I have been letting the people in my life GO. As I continue I am finding they are not leaving; I am finding out that they actually want to be around me now that I don’t micromanage everything they do. I found out that they don’t mind when I tell them “you figure it out”, or “you do it your way”. I don’t think they have caught on, (or maybe they have), because they don’t seem to mind when I disappear each week for a couple of hours to attend CODA. My daughter is gone now, but I am sure she is with me every step of the way on my 12 step path of sanity.
The numb feelings are only now beginning to disappear, and I am starting to grieve. It can take literally years; or maybe a parent never gets over this kind of loss. CoDA has helped me sort out my feelings and give my journey structure. The Promise says "I can expect a miraculous change in my life, by working the program" and I have.
Thanks to everyone who works so hard to make CoDA a reality.
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