I had the feeling of being always alone, even when surrounded by dozens of people, even when I had a long list of so-called “friends”, even when being a favorite of many people, and even when fulfilling all my responsibilities in a perfect manner.
Then surfing around the internet one day I came across CoDA and read all about codependency. I got a sudden wave of shock and goosebumps all over my body; I am codependent. All the feelings of loneliness, of dissatisfaction with my own self, of lack of passion to fulfill my needs, and of being a favorite only because I am always there to help nearly everyone was all because I never listened to the voice of my own self and to what my own self demands of me.
Oh dear self! I am sorry and now I will make up for every single moment I ignored you because of someone else, someone whom I made the source of reinforcement for my codependency—whereas it could have been the other way around if only I had been aware.
I’m moving now towards a happier and contented me, accepting self-care as a necessary thing instead of a selfish one!
Sahar N. – 2020