It all started growing up with an alcoholic mother and a father who left when I was 12 years old for another woman. I was left taking care of a mom who was emotionally abusive and I basically raised myself. The pain of abandonment was unbearable other times I just tried to survive. Eventually the alcohol took my mother’s life. I was 28 years old. It was just another abandonment in my life. I felt that I could just not take any more pain.
Fast forward to my adult life. I entered into a physically abusive relationship and then eventually ended up marrying a emotionally unavailable man who ended up leaving me for another woman after 20 years. It was this abandonment that finally led me to realize I was a codependent and to CODA. I needed help so my daughter would not end up like me. Recovery is a lifetime process and I am committed to healing myself. I am now 50 years old and thank God and my higher power for the strength to face my fears and begin my life again. I am strong, I am capable of being loved and I will eventually find inner peace
Stacey B – 2020