I’ve been in CoDA for about 1.5 years. As I’ve grown in CoDA, I’ve noticed that setting boundaries has really improved my self-esteem. Anything from not interpreting Spanish at work when there are interpreters available (as it is not in my job description) to walking away from unequal relationships.
I’ve been single for five years and really interested in sharing my life with someone; however, I’m not willing to settle. I met a girl who was seven years sober in the same program as I was. She was funny, she was attractive, and she complimented me. However, as we began to communicate, I noticed she would take hours to reply to my texts and sometimes not reply at all. Honestly, the truth is I wasn’t willing to accept that behavior. So, I told her that I was looking for somebody with more time with whom to share my life, and I walked away.
It was difficult to do, as I’ve been wanting to be in a relationship for years now, and she had some great qualities; but CoDA has taught me not to settle for crumbs. If I allow my time to be consumed by someone who is unavailable, I might miss the opportunity to connect with someone who is.