Two years into my recovery and I still couldn’t put my finger on what I felt was my Higher Power’s will for me. I had a strong sense of my Higher Power and how it was working in my life, where and how to connect to it – but this seemed a difficult concept to grasp.
Then Bam! A lightbulb moment – following a codependent slip and a spiral into shame and “poor me” mentality.
A review of Steps 1, 6 and 7 gave me the lightbulb moment I was after. My victim mode with the self-defeating scripts/negative self-talk leads to the codependency characteristics and traits. My Higher Power simply wants me to lose these dysfunctional ways of being once and for all. My Higher Power does not want me living in victim mode relieving past traumas, life scripts and experiencing black and white thinking.
My Higher Power wants to enhance my internal landscape and release me from these old ways which I can achieve by surrendering to its will.
I now define my Higher Power’s will as the alternative guide and the strength to engage in new healthier behaviours, overcome obstacles with dignity, achieve balance with my thinking and harness my assets. This helps me experience the 12 Promises – I am becoming more effective and less affected!