I don’t have much of a green thumb, but that’s neither here nor there. So nonchalantly, I placed dirt into pots, threw in my seeds, covered them with soil, watered them and placed them on my window sill.

It wasn’t until later that night when I stopped to talk to my Higher Power that I realized what I had just done.

You see I spent the first 28 years of my life hating my existence, cursing every breath that I took, and dreading every day that I had to struggle through. I have so many lasting mental and physical scars from all of the ways that I desperately tried to extinguish myself from existence.

I was always fighting a losing battle against myself. something inside of me was so badly broken, so unfixably damaged. Something was wrong with me, but no one could see it, so no one knew how to fix it. How to fix ME.

But today, I planted seeds.

Because I know I’ll be here tomorrow to tend to them. I know I’ll have the energy, and the patience, and the compassion to nurture them. I know that no matter what happens today, tomorrow will be better. I have hope for a new day. I have hope for life.

Today, I’m not longing for a way out.
So today, I planted seeds.

Heather H.
03.21.2025