M-F CoDA LITERATURE PHONE MEETING
Open, CoDA Literature
This Meeting runs Monday thru Friday at 9:30am Eastern Time. We use two free CoDA pamphlets in the meeting: “Communication in Recovery”: https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Communication-Recovery-Bro-4005.pdf “Establishing Boundaries in Recovery”: https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Boundaries-Bro-4104.pdf If you struggle to get through, try this bridge number 425-535-9195
Note: This Code of Conduct passed Group Conscience on July 15, 2020
9:30am ET Literature Phone Meeting Code of Conduct
Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on CoDA unity.
Purpose: Some members have chosen to leave this phone meeting due to unacceptable verbal behavior they experienced on this phone meeting. By allowing this behavior to continue, meeting leadership is complicit in the behavior continuing. It is the meeting’s leadership responsibility to “Safeguard the Traditions.” (Carrying the Message page 9)
Foundational beliefs of our meeting:
• CoDA is a 12-Step program of group support. CoDA meetings are not group therapy, but many people who work the program receives therapeutic benefit. CoDA is a program of self-help, self- discovery, and self-definition. (Newcomers handbook p. 10)
• “Our personal recovery depends on our adherence to the principles of the program including the Steps, Traditions, and the group conscience process.” (Traditionally Speaking page 5)
• “Someone who does not respect the common welfare of a group can destroy it.” (Traditionally Speaking page 8)
• “In every CoDA sharing session, there is only one paramount rule: “No crosstalk.” (Newcomers handbook p. 15)
• “The no-crosstalk rule cannot be suspended. It is an inalienable individual right in CoDA. (Newcomers handbook p. 18)
By attending the 9:30am ET CoDA Literature Phone Meetings, you commit to adhering and complying with our Phone Meeting Code of Conduct. All members and trusted servants are asked to practice recovery and abide by the following:
(1) Be respectful of the privacy and anonymity of meeting members during all hours of the Phone Meeting and to all subsequent outreach calls. Please be aware that when a member talks with you outside of phone meetings, it is considered confidential, exclusively between you and that member. In short, as a member of CoDA, you are required to maintain the privacy and anonymity of fellow members, at all times, under all circumstances, unless permission is granted. (Traditions 11 & 12 & Service Concept 7) Practice these Principles in all our affairs. (Step 12)
(2) Keep the focus on sharing Individual Experience, Strength, and Hope. Please, keep your opinions, anger, dissatisfaction, judgments or any negativity about other members to yourself. This means not using up sharing time to express anger, dissatisfaction, or any negativity concerning fellow members. Together, we can create a space where codependents practice spiritual recovery. Sharing your positive progress and hope-oriented language in working your recovery program is appreciated. (Tradition 1) “Members are encouraged to honor their own integrity as well as the integrity of others.” (Service Concept 6)
(4) Follow the Specific Limits on Communication within CoDA
CoDA does not accept harassment, bullying, or expressed intolerance of any kind. No person should be the subject to unwanted verbal conduct which intimidates or shows hostility towards any member. Below is the list of Unacceptable Verbal Behavior.
(3) Adhere to and Honor the “No Crosstalk”, “Sharing” and “Fellowship” Guidelines that are read daily in our meetings. In this meeting, we speak about our own experience, strength, and hope. We listen without comment to what others share, taking responsibility for our own lives. The safety provided by the “No Crosstalk” guidelines allows a person to experience vulnerability and develop deep levels of trust. Others in the meeting benefit from this depth of sharing. They have an opportunity to learn more about themselves and to practice detachment. (Newcomers handbook p. 18)
9:30am ET Lit Phone Meeting Code of Conduct July 2020 page 1 of 2
Unacceptable Verbal Behavior:
Verbal Harassment: Consists of demeaning remarks and unreasonable criticism. It can involve insults, slurs, unwanted "jokes'' and hurtful comments. It also involves yelling, cursing, or making inappropriate remarks or jokes about another member or another member’s share. No sarcasm, cynicism or shaming previous shares.
Verbal Intimidation: Consists of purposeful shaming and blaming another member. Behavior may include derogatory comments, slurs, and insults. This also includes verbal threats and intimidating, aggressive tone of voice.
Verbal Abuse: Consists of Name-calling, Threatening, Character Assassination, Spreading Gossip, Humiliation, Criticism (harsh and/or persistent), Accusations and Gaslighting (Projection).
Unwelcome or offensive verbal comments around age, employment, gender identity, marital status, political affiliation, sexual orientation, race, religion, economic status.
Continued Pattern of Disruptions of phone meetings, shares, monologuing, bullying, intimidating behavior, such as using a loud domineering voice, that over-powers others.
Retaliation for reporting unacceptable verbal behavior to meeting leadership or IMC (Issues Mediation Committee email: [email protected] )
Reporting Unacceptable Verbal Behavior: If any member witnesses or is subject to unacceptable verbal behavior, please notify the trusted servants of this phone meeting. The trusted servants, if they feel it is necessary, will contact the CoDA IMC (Issues Mediation Committee). All reports will be treated seriously and responded to promptly. Once the meeting GSR is notified, he/she will discuss the details first with the individual filing the complaint, and then the alleged offender. Confidentiality will be maintained to the extent that it does not compromise the rights of others.
Code of Conduct Enforcement:
• If any member is requested to stop unacceptable verbal behavior, the expectation is to comply immediately.
• If unacceptable verbal behavior continues, the offending member will be dropped from this phone meeting. On the 1st offense, the member loses speaking and voting privileges for 7 days, on the 2nd offense, the member loses speaking and voting privileges for 14 days, on the 3rd offense, the member loses speaking and voting privileges for 21 days.
• On the 4th offense, the offending member will be removed from the meeting for 6 months. The meeting can consider a request to permit that member to rejoin meetings. If permitted to rejoin
the meetings, and there is one more incident of unacceptable verbal behavior, that member will be
permanently removed from the meeting.
• When an offending member is referred to the IMC and that member fails to comply or communicate with the IMC, they will lose speaking and voting privileges until they communicate and comply with the IMC. It is expected that if you are contacted by the IMC, the member will respond to the IMC within 7 business days.
• If the offending member is a trusted servant (GSR or Moderator), that member will be asked to step down from service for at least 45 days to allow for self-development.
In our shared commitment to support this code of conduct and to keep our CoDA Phone Meeting safe and strong, we express gratitude and appreciation to all members.
9:30am ET Lit Phone Meeting Code of Conduct July 2020 page 2 of 2