Co-NNections Recovery Stories

The 4=H’s, Well, Maybe 5…

The 4=H’s, Well, Maybe 5


The 4-H’s, Well, Maybe 5

of us think that the 4-H’s refer to the agricultural club for
youth.  However, my friend has come up with another club using
this designation.  He and I are both recovering from codependent
issues in our lives.  He recently spoke on his 4-H’s and his
explanation had a profound impact upon me and possibly others can
benefit as well.

The first H is for “HELP”.  He stated that
the realization for help was necessary as a beginning step.  When
we go though these difficult times it is important for us to recognize
that we do need help.  Help comes in many forms such as support
groups, therapy, church, friends, safe people, etc.  You can put
your own additions in as you have them.

The second H is for
“HEALING”.  When we have lived with serious problems in our lives
and we come to deal with them, we need to heal from them.  It
doesn’t matter what the problems may be whether codependency,
alcoholism, drug addiction, failed marriages, or just plain old
dysfunctional behaviors.  The healing process is just that, a
process.  We must take time and allow ourselves what we need to
heal.  There is no timetable and each of us is different so we
heal at different rates.  The key here is that we do need to heal
as a part of the process of recovery as we move on through our journey
in life.

Thirdly, the next H is for “HEALTHY”.  As he
points out, our bodies suffer as we go through these crises and
emotional traumas.  We need to pay attention to our health. 
Things such eating properly, exercise, mental health, and just our
physical health in general are all important aspects on the road to
recovery.  We should not neglect the health concerns as we are
recovering, to do so will prolong our recovery.

His fourth H
stands for “HAPPY”.  As we do begin to recover, we can begin to
see the good things in life again.  We can be happy as we move
on.  Happiness takes on many forms and can be different for each
one of us.  The recovery process is a journey and if we seek it,
we can and will find the happiness that we deserve.

Lastly, I
would like to add a fifth H to the list and this would be “HOPE”. 
For my journey in recovery, I have found hope in great abundance. 
I have experienced the benevolence of strangers in my time of
need.  The caring, love, and understanding for me from my support
groups.  There are so many people in this world that are hurting
but seem to not have a focus on how to successfully cope with that
hurt.  I am thankful that I am working my program on my recovery
journey.  It does give me real hope for the future.

I would
like to thank him for sharing his insights about his 4-H’s he has used
in his recovery process.  They have helped me and I hope they can
be useful to others as well.

Don V. (2007)


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