I have been in Co-Dependents Anonymous for 8 months now, joined in July of 2015. My son brought me to a 12-step group. He is now a recovering drug addict. I have to thank my Higher Power everyday for his addiction, otherwise I would not have come through the doors of CoDA.
The first step says, "We admitted we were powerless over others, that our lives had become unmanageable." I was powerless over my son and his addiction and over pretty much everything else, except my recovery. Through working the 12 steps, I am living differently. My son is not my God anymore, I have and serve the God of my understanding in which I turn over everything that is stressing me out for the day. I am better and can relate to my son in a healthier way. I no longer need to be in his business, because if I am playing his savior, his rescuer, then how will he know he needs a Higher Power, if I was playing that role. I also have learned many things I was taking on, it was not my job!
Also I have established boundaries with those who are just mean and nasty with me at work. I have learned to not seek their approval, nor to allow them to treat me with disrespect. I actually spoke up for myself and told them clearly with respect, here is how you treat me and speak to me. I am no one’s doormat anymore. They are treating me better, respecting my boundaries and I am more confident. I no longer live in fear of rejection nor get angry because I failed to help myself. My son’s addiction is a blessing in disguise – he is clean and sober as far as I know and whatever happens I will be fine and so will the rest of my family.
For me recovery comes when I establish a daily contact with my Higher Power. I started a hot yoga class. They told me to keep coming back- the same expression I hear in CoDA. Each class I see more small and minuscule changes. But I am down 30 pounds and healthier. That is what working the 12 steps is like for me! Working the steps is transforming me from the inside out. I am healthier now inside and out. I sponsor one person now and ask on a daily basis, "How is your program? What are you doing to get better?"
Stephanie K . 3/9/16