- Member Resources
I was raised by a narcissistic mother and married a narcissistic man. I was willing to change roles in my marriage. I was the breadwinner and he was the househusband. Despite having a masters in electrical engineering, he could not get a job in his field. The political climate and his nationality were the barriers. I had returned to school and gotten my nursing degree.
I didn’t attempt to leave my emotionally abusive marriage until I witnessed my son imitating his father’s despicable behavior toward me. I started attending CoDA after I began therapy in my early 60s. I would listen to others’ stories and compare myself to them. I would minimize my situation. It wasn’t until I separated from my husband and was living with a roommate that I could finally see the abuse that I had endured.
When I started to believe with all of my heart that I was powerless over others (step one) and came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity (step two), that is when I experienced a change in my belief system.
I began to better understand my coping mechanisms of self-deprecating humor and numbing of feelings. I learned why they were created and how to alter them. I also did a lot of inner child work and began to reparent myself in loving ways. It was when I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God (step 3) that my way was paved. By making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself (step 4), I was able to differentiate between mine and others‘ “baggage”.
I have been divorced for 3 years now. I live in an intergenerational group house with emotionally healthy people. I have no contact with my ex husband. My mother died one year ago. My relationship with my 3 grown children is still strained but they see my growth. I am in contact with my penniless 64 year old brother who is still living in our deceased mother’s house. I give him emotional support but not financial support. I’m letting God take care of everyone…not me. It’s wonderful!
Charlene M. 12/1/20
*These pages may not have been reviewed, endorsed, or approved by Co-Dependents Anonymous Inc.
Writers agree to a shared release of copyright, allowing Co-NNections® and/or CoDA, Inc. to publish their works for no compensation and grants Co-NNections and/or CoDA, Inc the right to reuse any work in any future publications. This agreement allows the author and Co-NNections and/or CoDA, Inc the right to reuse the work in any future endeavors.
To update an existing meeting, CLICK HERE, search for the meeting ID,
Click to the meeting and use the link “UPDATE THIS MEETING”, found under the map of the meeting.