I just met a guy. He seems like a nice, intelligent person who has a job. I am afraid. He is not my type. I have to stop myself from putting myself down or jokingly denying his compliments. I don’t know how healthy relationships work.

Is he being considerate or controlling when he gives me a napkin I didn’t ask for to mop up my coffee? Are his emails trying to keep me totally focused on him or is he just enjoying a new relationship? I don’t know.

How am I supposed to act? Should I dress up or play it cool? Should I let him see the real me or do I keep a lid on myself for a while? I’d rather it wasn’t happening but I’ve been wishing for it for a couple of years.

My higher power knows so I’ll ask her to take care of all that and to help me not to cancel the next date. Maybe it will bring pain in the end but because of what I’ve learned in CoDA I know that I won’t be adding too much to the pain and that I’ll get through it. It might not bring pain I suppose but it’s too soon in my recovery for me to believe that yet.

Claire