Co-NNections Recovery Stories

Who am I – Friederike H.

Who am I -January 2013
Who am I? They tell me 
I am a strong person,
I will cope with grief
and get on with life.
Who am I? They tell me
I am a caring person
willing to give a helping hand,
be there for others when needed.
Who am I? They tell me 
I am a logical thinker,
that I can solve problems,
seem to be in control of my life.
Am I all that what others say of me?
Or am I what I know of myself,
What I feel since I started CoDA work?
I feel powerless over my subconscious thoughts
and feelings, that seem to control my life.
I feel like an abandoned child, scared and helpless.
I am fearful of making decisions,
I am lonely and longing for friendship and love,
I long for laughter and joy
After experiencing so much pain and sadness.
Who am I? This one or the other?
I am both, the adult and the scared, hurt inner child!
I will learn to love myself – this hurt little girl –
and not look outside to fill the void.
I know I am a child of God
and have his unconditional love!
I can let go of my fears and trust,
Let go of tears and find joy and peace …
in God and my CoDA fellowship.
December 2017
Today, 5 years later, I have become a whole person. I am not split into adult and inner child any more…we have integrated. But through re-parenting that hurt inner child, having time for her, getting to know her needs and fill those needs, and lots of cuddles and love, I learned to love and accept myself and take good care of myself. I know that I am the person who has to fill my needs….that is good self care! This was all possible through the guidance of a loving Higher Power and the support of the CoDA fellowship.
I am incredibly grateful to the people who produced the First 14 Days workbook and the Step and Tradition workbook. It works if you work it!! And pass it on through sponsoring other members!!
Friederike H  – 01/09/2018

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