I used to have this masochistic way of walking backwards with a blindfold on, to slither under fabricated comfort to attempt to alleviate the intensity of recovery.

I’ve learned to just be more forgiving of myself. So what, I used to offer my love to the wrong person in overwhelming waves of desperation. But I’ve learned, nothing good ever came of it.

I’ve been staring my co-dependency straight in the eyes, asking it one million questions, finding out its secrets, and weakening its strengths. Where did you come from? Why are you here? I told my co-dependence that the bad person it seeks approval from is gone, and with that said, it must go, too.

I learned that I, for too long, hadn’t succeeded in ridding myself of this co-dependency because I never wanted to. Once there is WANT, then there is determination, then strength, then I am facing fears I suddenly WANT to face.

I can’t explain how liberating this process becomes.

Best Regards, 

Monica M 5/8/19