As with many codependents, my family of origin had its own version of craziness. I spent a lot of time bemoaning the dysfunction of my family of origin and wishing things were different. However, there was a positive force that was always in our house – music! I grew up listening and loving the Big Band music of my parents, the Rock and Roll of my older brother, and Motown/Beatles in my high school and college years. My love for music continued into the 80s music of my children and now the Kidz Bop and Imagine Dragons music of my grandchildren. Lots of music that came with lots of codependent lyrics!
The other day, though, as I was riding in the car (listening to what many would call elevator music!), I heard a song which was released in 1968. As I listened to the song, these lines from the lyrics jumped out at me and they’ve been in my head for the last few days. It goes something like this:
If I’m not okay for myself, it’s hard to be okay for anyone else.
It is through the CoDA program and the help of my Higher Power that I have developed healthier self-esteem so that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have to contort myself into what I think I should be or what I think others want me to be. And, it only fits that once I get “okay” with myself, I can be a good partner for somebody who will accept who I truly am. In turn, I can learn to value that person in a similar way as they get comfortable sharing their true self to me. So, I keep coming back to CoDA meetings.