Today I feel insane. I’ve been in recovery for three years now and this feeling of insanity inside of me has lessened. But today I am in the throes of it and confusion and uncertainty have set in. I’m experiencing anger, disappointment, resentment, false hope, obsession, and the need to let go of control. I find myself struggling between letting go of control and obsessing over the situation. It’s a tough situation and involves a family member that has serious mental illness.
Today, I went to a meeting, have been reaching out to my higher power, and doing my best to let go of control. I’m practicing self-care by taking a hot bath. I know tomorrow will be a new day and there is hope in a new day.
I’m so thankful that I have CoDA meetings and tools to help me through this difficult day. Prior to CoDA I would have been in a dark place not seeing any light, suffering, and not seeing there may be a lesson in today. Thank you, Higher Power, for showing me there is a new way!