She survived the big fight and was ready to live.

She took a big leap and crossed the final bridge.

She felt the air in between the ramp and the plane.

She lifted her foot and thought, “this is it”.

She sat down and they asked her one thing.

“Are you headed home?”

She looked out at the wing.

She replied, “…yeah, I guess I am”.

She found peace that day despite the unknown.

Just one suitcase and her foundation from back home.

She arrived so tired and now full of grief.

What was the new place and will she get relief?

This place that floated in the ocean.

At times she felt trapped, other times she felt free.

She made it to her new spot.

She was greeted with more than a nod.

She bowed her head as they provided her a bed.

Is this even real or am I actually dead?

It was just a photo once up on her vision board.

Yet here she was a whole dream restored.

She sat on the beach all alone, pale tone.

Somewhat disconnected, lost in the zone.

The waves scared her most days.

But sometimes she would go out and just float.

She stretched out her arms like an angel.

And just for that moment she felt free.

But something would call her back to the shore.

She was bothered by the wind and the laughter.

Jealous perhaps, wondering do I matter?

She watched all the people walk by,

and noticed they didn’t need her.

Until a bird arrived, hopped over.

And expected her to feed her.

She looked in its eyes and said, go away.

I have nothing to give you, not today.

The bird hopped away.

She started to cry, which made her feel silly.

That a little ugly bird could stir her back up.

She stopped and asked why was she sad?

It was because she had just let go.

Her codependency no longer served her.

But what was left felt like a hole.

She wondered what would fill it.

So she got up and left.

The answer came to her much later.

Why my child, why this was a gift.

You must have never been told.

That the answer to life.

Is not to do what you’re told.

It’s only one thing. One important lesson.

The thing that fills you up.

Is to look not above, but deep in your eyes.

Tell yourself, I love you, nobody else will suffice.

So she did just that and slowly but surely.

She found her little girl that was lonely.

Not her daughter but someone deep within.

Little April was ready to begin.

She hung a photo up of herself.

She looked at that little girl with her crooked mouth.

And she said to her proudly…

“I’ve got you now”.

 

April M.  03/14/2024