The inability to make a decision was very strong in my personality prior to recovery and self-discovery in CoDA. One perfect example of this came one day when my sister and I were trying to decide what to do with this perfectly beautiful sunshiny day. We debated back and forth on the best way to use the time. We ended up using the whole day trying to make a “perfect” decision. What a waste!

Thinking others could make better decisions or thinking I had to make the perfect decision was debilitating. With my marriage partner, I acquiesced on most decisions. What movie to watch, where to go for dinner, even our wedding where my husband did most of the planning (with my approval). There were a few exceptions … where my core values would be threatened if I compromised.

Thank God those days are over! After so many years of giving control to my husband, it’s a bit hard now for us to work in partnership, but we are progressing in that as well. Setting boundaries, learning to lovingly say “no”. Little by little, day by day this life journey is getting better. Thank you for all the lessons learned in CoDA recovery.

Debbie in Michigan – 8/27/2022