Codependent Behaviours:

Healthy Antidote Behaviours:

empathizing, feeling like

feeling my feelings

worrying about

not worrying about (or for)
others

pitying

respecting

helping

helping only when I want to

caretaking

taking care of myself

fixing, rescuing

letting others experience
their own consequences

protecting

acknowledging others’
abilities to take care of selves

defending

letting others defend
themselves

interfering

minding my own business

rationalizing, justifying

seeing others’ behaviour
honestly

excusing

letting others be accountable
for their actions

sacrificing for

taking care of my own needs
first

being a martyr

not giving my life away for
anyone

avoiding

confronting

distancing, withdrawing
from

being accessible,
approaching others

withholding from

giving happily when I want
to

giving the silent treatment

listening and responding

minimizing or denying my
feelings

valuing and owning my
feelings

pretending, deceiving, or
lying

voicing my feelings and
opinions honestly

manipulating

asking for what I want

controlling

letting others make their
own choices

teasing

complementing

shaming

honouring

criticizing, judging

appreciating, accepting

blaming

taking responsibility for
my own life

resenting

forgiving

being hostile

being kind

cursing, raging

expressing my anger
appropriately w/out attacking

hating

loving

punishing, abusing

disciplining fairly, and
only when appropriate

discounting, ignoring

respecting, acknowledging
others

neglecting, abandoning

fulfilling commitments,
even when difficult

being passive

taking action

acting helpless or
powerless

using my abilities and
power constructively

acting like a victim

not letting others take
advantage of me

being bitter

letting go of the past

fearing

being courageous

being vigilant, on guard,
wary of

being self-confident

pleasing

pleasing myself

appeasing

fighting for my rights
appropriately

enmeshing

being independent in my
feelings and choices

needing

enjoying others while being
self-sufficient

(c) 1999, 2000 by Tim A.
(NYC)  –  This checklist may be copied as often as desired for
non-profit uses only,
but only if copied completely and unaltered, including this notice.