Life before CODA was rough; it was like “black and white TV,” to quote a friend in recovery. I was lost in others, completely codependent on them and out of touch with who I was. I didn’t know what boundaries were, what self-care meant, about my likes and dislikes, my needs and wants, nor did I have much contact with my emotions and feelings. Empathy and sympathy were as foreign to me as Spain used to feel to me before I learned Spanish.

CoDA helped from the first moment I went to a meeting and tearfully heard that I no longer needed to merely survive life but that I could actually live it. CoDA showed me that there is another way and that feelings of despair will too pass. CoDA helped me realize that I am not destined to obsess over others—that I am a whole, loveable being with self-worth. It proved that there is hope, especially when I was at my lowest.

Life in CoDA recovery is a Godsend. I start every day by praying and reading CoDA-approved literature to begin emotionally and spiritually on sound footing. My life is now in color TV, with its ups and downs but with an amazing set of tools. Meetings, recovery friends, and a caring sponsor all provide me with an abundance of love to deal with any situation life throws at me. I am fortunate enough to attend meetings in person in English and in Spanish here in Madrid. I am working the steps with a sponsor who got me reading CoDA literature. He has taught me I need not be a victim and about the blessings of recognizing and accepting the unavailability of others. I try to go with the flow and to not fight resistance.

I have regularly chaired meetings in Spanish. I am a proud keyholder of the meeting room. What is happening on the outside in my life is much the same, but what is happening to me on the inside is immense. Every day I know that I am making progress, even if I take two steps forward and one back. I know that I am being guided by a Higher Power who wants the best for me, teaching me acceptance, awareness and gratitude. To that end, I am truly learning to love myself and others. As they say here in Spain: felices 24 horas (Have a happy 24 hours)!

Yours lovingly in fellowship,

DTR