The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.

God, I like the phrase my sponsor uses: “judgy pants.” These pants were worn all day long by the ladies in my family of origin. Naturally, I had my own custom-fit judgy pants that I was born into. Oftentimes I was unaware that I slipped into them like some nanotechnology from Iron Man. Now, because of this Fellowship and this Tradition, these pants are starting to feel like leather pants in the summer — in Death Valley. And they’re getting tighter the more I work my program — thank You.

God, I thank You for this encompassing Fellowship that stops me in my tracks when I want to ask: Why is s/he here? Do they belong? For it is not for me to judge. I thank You for the pleasure I find in answering the newcomer’s email of: “What do I need to attend?” with “the only requirement is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.”

God, I’ve experienced how much codependency is a subtle disease. I recognize that I didn’t have a choice in choosing my family of origin, but I’m an adult, and I can choose the relationships I have, and I want those to be healthy and loving. Each day I have to affirm to myself this desire.

With Your help, I am now able to recognize red flags sooner. With Your help, I’m able to make decisions that are safe for me and respectful of others. I’m now able to feel compassion for another without rescuing, and caretaking, and I’m learning to be loyal to my own needs. Thank You!

Thank You, God, for this Tradition. I like these new compassionate, nonjudgmental pants You’ve given me. They’re comfortable, soft, and ultra-plush! Amen.

Shy D. 2/17/22