My sponsor asked me how my recovery was going and how service has helped me with triggers and situations that I am powerless over. My response was, when I first came to CoDA, I knew I was an angry, resentful person that wanted the world to hear my voice. Time after time I was dismissed and forsaken. I was hurtful to others, but especially myself. I could hear my “CoDA Crazies” screaming in my head all the hurtful things that held me hostage from being the loving, caring, respectful person I truly wanted to be. My biggest mistake was that I believed all those hurtful hateful words. With the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous I started to believe in myself and could hear the words and feelings of my Creator. I learned to feel through my feelings of hate, anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and no forgiveness.

Once I learned that the recovery and serenity that I was desperately looking for was on the other side of the misery, I listened to that caring, loving voice that I could hear and feel of my Creator. I learned to let go of grudges and resentments. I had tightly gripped onto those hateful feelings thinking that the memory of that hurt would save me from making that mistake again.

When I worked the Twelve Steps and embraced the Twelve Traditions then absorbed the Twelve Service Concepts is when I really learned that I will be in this program for life. CoDA is the medicine for my grief and misery. Only when I take my medication and work my program and embrace my recovery will I be of service to others that still suffer. It is my honour to work with others and share what my Creator has blessed me with, a recovery that I am so grateful for.

I wrote the Twelve Steps in 12 Seconds to remind me that my CoDA medicine works when I work my recovery. The hurt and grief I once carried for months or years now fades in twelve seconds. I repeat this prayer as fast and as many times, while my CoDA Crazies try to take over. I fight them off with the help of my Creator and the tools of my recovery.

Twelve Steps in 12 Seconds:

Deep breath! I am powerless and in chaos, my Creator is with me. Let go and let Creator guide me through this REACTION of triggers that only helped me survive. Be positive, be quiet and let loving new morales serve me with humility. Knowledge of what I will accept and the courage I need to move forward. I am willing to realize and promptly be accountable for the character defects and reactions that hurt others. Dearest Creator, help me to follow your guidance and pass these tools of recovery and serenity to others that still suffer.

AMEN

Dedicated to Recovery with Service

Jocelyn K.

02.03.2025