Having suffered two failed marriages, I had to ask the question, “What is wrong with me?” It seemed that the more I gave, the less I got in return. If I tried harder, was selfless, jumped though more hoops, or did aerial acrobatics, then maybe, just maybe, my spouse would be kind, empathetic and loving.
It took years to find the courage to leave my second husband. Who wants to be divorced, let alone twice? Who wants to face relatives with the “shame of it all?”
After seeing four marital counselors, I finally realized I had to make a choice—life or death. I wanted to live, and the only way that I could make it happen was to file for a divorce and physically separate myself from my narcissistic husband.
I began individual therapy soon after I was physically separated from my spouse and was given the diagnosis of codependency. As much as I was hurting inside, I was grateful to know WHY I found myself in emotionally abusive relationships (sigh of relief). A long introspective and courageous journey of healing had begun. CoDA has brought me to a place of sanity. I found health through God who heals hearts and binds wounds.
Carol V
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