I only recently, discovered that I suffer from Codependency when I made the very difficult and painful decision to separate from my my husband … my best friend and soul mate of 28 years. We have only been married for 11 of those 28 years, but we may as well have been married the whole time.
Though I have struggled with depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD for upwards of 35 years, there was really only one common thread through all of this….. my need to make everything OK and everyone happy, but neglecting my own needs and happiness.
I have just started my recovery from Codependency, but I already feel relieved and validated from books and meetings. I am still aghast at how accurate and telling the descriptions of codependent behavior are with regard to my behavior, language and….. basically…. how I have been living my life over the past 40+ years.
As long as I can remember, I have been plagued with worry….. about all kinds of things. If there wasn’t anything about which to worry, I would FIND something. What a load to bear!!! I base my self worth and identity on what others think of me. I rescue, care for and advise others while I ignore my own needs, and I have been doing so for years. This means it’s almost a “hard wired” behavior at this point and will be challenging to manage. But I am up to the challenge.
Jennifer H, 12/28/16
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