Codependent characteristic of people pleasing may have been based on my alcoholic parent always saying “no” … sometimes before the question was completely out of my mouth. “Mom, can I ..” NO.
Needing approval, needing a “yes” that never came, I sought that approval from others. I’d go out of my way to be “liked”. If I got into an elevator with a stranger, I’d know their history before we reached our floor and they would “like” me.
With the help of my higher power, whom I call God; CoDA has brought me to a new level of authenticity. I can love myself and see myself more as my loving God sees me. Love brought an acceptance of me as I am, gifts and flaws and all. I do not need to define myself by what another person thinks of me. Letting go of my neediness was painful, working the program and recognizing character defects hard, but necessary for my healing.
This new way is better. Remember that “the only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships” … thank God this is becoming true for me. Love is key in my relationship with God, with myself, and with others. Thank you, CoDA.
Debbie in Michigan 3/7/22