When I have expectations about something, what I’m doing is trying to
control the outcome of some situation.  That causes anxiety.
I create a constant state of agitation by attempting to control the
OUTCOME. I also have to control each aspect leading to that outcome –
every word, movement, the ambiance, people and feelings involved,
etc.  It’s like being in constant crisis mode.  It’s exhausting.

Also, the outcome is most of the time, not going to
be what I expect or try to control and that causes even more anxiety –
anxiety partly when the outcome is different than I expect (and thus
disappointing to me), but also anxiety during my attempts to
control.  This happens because I am experienced enough in this to
know what I’m doing when I’m doing it and cognitively aware that I
really have NO CONTROL over the outcome!

So, all that anxiety is counter-productive to any level of serenity, hence… Expectation goes up and serenity goes down.

The way I get out of this cycle is by working the 3rd step… giving my
will and my life over to the care of God (Goddess, Buddha, Mother
Nature, Universal Spirit) HP. 🙂

Really, by relinquishing my will on a situation I achieve serenity.
Certainly I have wants and needs, and it’s important in my growth to
acknowledge them. My job is to do the next right thing.  This means taking
action by following the voice of Goddess within me and trusting in her guidance
of my life. If I have faith that my needs will be met and the best
thing for me will be the outcome and if it’s not good for me, Goddess
will give me the strength to survive and make better choices next time,
then I have serenity.

That’s how serenity works in my life.

Racquel M. (2001)