From the outside looking in, my childhood was perfect. A mom, a dad, two kids, and a three car garage. As a family, we ran a second generation business and took a vacation at least once a year. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of friends who envied my life.

My mom was the golden standard for polishing the appearances to the world, and no one ever really knew about her mental illness or my dad’s alcoholism. Being the baby of the family, I got the hint pretty early on that everyone around me couldn’t even take care of themselves—so that meant I needed to take care of myself.

I read something the other day that said, “Over independence is a trauma response.” I get that in my bones. Throughout my whole life I’ve taken care of others, and been overly independent, so that I didn’t have to really sit alone and be with myself. I’m new to CoDA, and living in a rural area, my resources are limited. However, I look forward to this journey of uncovering, discovering, and healing parts of myself that have been wounded for a long time.

Maurielle P. – 10/10/2020