I hear an opening share at my local CoDA meeting about gratitude and my self-pity bristles with antagonism like my dog bristles himself right out of the tub at bath time. The good news is I realize that gratitude is the antidote for my self-pity, and I don’t have to stay here, stuck.

Sometimes I am brimming over with joy and freedom, and I can identify that my HP will guide me to look thoughtfully forward, towards my journey because it’s going to be better than I can imagine. Some days I am flat on my back and restless “like hot water on a frying pan”. However, some days all I can do is confess to my HP that I missed the mark today.

The great news is it won’t last half as long or be half as intense as it used to be. Now I have experiential learning that when I fall short, or have a bad day, or things don’t go my way (living life on life’s terms) – I am encountering an opportunity to heal in CoDA. I am also gaining an insight, to connect the dots so that I can move forward in my HP’s plan.

In the event of a restless day, I have tools to seek gratitude. Through the tougher times and lessons that life can dish out, I lean into the idea that I don’t have to do this perfectly. (Thank you, HP for Step 10, “when we are wrong…”), and I surrender to the idea that I get to reset and try again.

The slow removal of fear, minute by minute.

Taran S. 01/07/2024