Long weekends are very hard. I feel the resistance to going to that family function that I hate
– the one that is always the same and where I have to fit myself into a role that fits
somebody else’s expectation or the successful one that I had imagined myself to be in. How
do others cope with the pain that I feel? Are others "normal" and I’m the weird one? Is this
just my issue? I also feel that crush of being alone, especially as I age and the thoughts that
I am growing old alone, decrepit, unwanted and forgotten. The thoughts spiral as I sit in front
of this computer. Can I last through the weekend? Should I reach out and call others who
are just as miserable and alone and then at least we can be miserable together. Of course,
there is my old friend, the bottle or the pill or just falling asleep until the alarm goes off.
Let me check my watch again. Hmmm, ok how about I read this daily meditation book that I
bought that is sitting on my shelf. What will it say – "In this moment, I speak up for myself. I
no longer fear speaking my mind or telling others when I feel uncomfortable.” Wow!! That’s
exactly what I need to do. Be authentic! Speak my piece! Maybe even speak my truth to
myself for once. Thanks, and I am responsible for my own validation!

David N – 4/1/18