On October 29, 1986, I attended my first CoDA meeting. I didn’t know what
codependency was. I didn’t know Ken or Mary R. I had no idea how this
meeting had begun. I was just told by another 12-step person, about
this meeting, as he had attended the first meeting on October22, 1986.
I showed up, and lo and behold, the majority of the people there, I
knew from other 12-step programs. As the weeks passed and the meeting
grew, again most of the people were from other 12-step meetings. Those
very same people I had sat with, listening to, each struggling with
their questions on how to move forward, and to try to heal from their
past journey. Willing to go to any lengths” As I was.

I can only speak for myself on this matter, yet some how I know through only my
perception, that most of the people in that meeting room, along with
all other rooms I had sat in for 12-step were sick! For what other
reason would we all be there? The information I had accumulated at that
point in my journey (and it still holds true today), is that this was a
place people came, together, to talk, to share their EXPERIENCE,
STRENGTH, & HOPE (powerful words when used right), about their
journey with the dis-ease. This was done with utmost respect, anonymity
and non-judgment.

Now if you have taken the time to read this far into the letter, let me now tell you
why I am prompted to write this letter.

Last weekend I had the privilege of visiting the birthplace and grave, of a
man named BILL W. (the CO-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous). While
standing there the feeling of emotions were many and so deep they
brought tears of connection. Connection to that place inside of me,
where my truth lives. That place where I know that my journey on this
planet, was to be a person who had the privilege, yes!! Privileged, to
be “one of the sick ones afflicted by this dis-ease”. Through that
DYSFUNCTION, I was ALLOWED TO FIND OUT WHAT MY LIFE was all about, and
then how to connect to the joy and bliss. Realizing and owning to the
full extent of how this dis-ease can afflict me, knowing that I’ll
never “be cured”. Knowing that to survive with any sense of calm and
honor, I would have to really come to terms with GOD. The strange thing
though, is that even though some people (in CoDA 12-step) have come to
realize these things too, I find there are some others that “think”
they have. And as sad as it is (and sometimes very difficult to deal
with them too) these people stand out as reminders, to each of us, just
exactly what we all “are really doing here”.

Over the years I’ve heard many things from “this group people”. Things, that when you
really listen, have no connection to god, or to the real meaning of the
steps and traditions. As I sit and remember my experiences with some of
“these people”, I for some reason cannot remember a conversation with
any of them, that really included GOD. Nor did it include the first
word of the 12-steps “WE”. I think the words most used were “you did”,
“They were”, etc.

Today more than ever, I realize when I look back, just how privileged (there’s that word again)
I was, to be a part of CoDA in the beginning. I had the honor to sit as a member of the
first CoDA Board of Directors. I was the first Hospitals and Institutions chairperson. I did this for
3 years. I had no idea what I was doing. Had never sat on a board before.

Wasn’t even sure what “codependency” really was. There were no descriptions of
codependency. There were no books. No pamphlets. There was nothing but
a bunch of people, brought together by God. Yes GOD! The energy and
awesomeness of watching this experience manifest and come to light was
beyond words. TRUST was the key factor here. TRUST. As I said in the
beginning, what would we be doing here, if we were not sick? So when I
hear these derogatory comments from these “people”, I am so grateful
that they somehow recognized the fact, that like in most cases
throughout history, God has always chosen the SICK and the WEAK, to be
the ones used to bring forth changes in the world. I can’t begin to
tell you how honored I am to be included in this group. It would take
me days, to tell all the positive ways these experiences have completed
me as a person. And continue to do today.

12-Step program, as I understand it, is a place where you come to be supported by others, who
have the same dis-ease, as you each find your way. So to honor that, I
offer my hand on the journey, to those “other people”, if you care to
walk with me. There is only one thing though, if you choose to do that,
my journey does include foremost the concept “WE” (and that definitely
has GOD first person on the we list).

Walk Gently on the earth

Annie D.