Co-NNections Recovery Stories

Without Cover

Without Cover

………………………….               Without Cover 

I’ve taken away all false supports,
And am now naked before myself,
Without cover.
I’m feeling raw, visceral,
Emotion and pain.

I’m intensely aware of my coping patterns,
But have yet to truly believe,
In the truth of me;
To be excited about
The special one that is me.

My chest is hurting a lot.
I am trying to be with that and allow it to hurt.
I just opened my door and the cool night air feels good.
I am not God or you.
I am me, and I am sad.

I am also alive, and able to heal.
I feel paralyzed now, so I’ll feel paralyzed now.
My chest hurts, so I’ll feel my hurting chest.
Hopelessness and sadness fill me,
So I will feel hopeless and sad.

I am me and feel me.
This is my life,
My pain.
I will live it and feel it.
It will take as long as it takes.

I will not resist it,
But accept it.
Facts are.
My interpretations are not facts.
I will find faith in the room of my soul.

I may open the door and allow the night breeze to cool me,
But I will stay with my soul.
I will not give its care over to another again.
But I will share it and explore love,
In the beauty of myself.

I will be free without cover.
I will be healed.
I am free and healing.
The river is flowing,
And the current is good.

Brenneman T. April 21, 2002


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