My codependency began in childhood from my father’s emotional and verbal abuse. As I developed adult relationships, the pattern of attracting men that were controlling and abusive continued. I knew of the abuse in my 30’s but eventually ignored it until I was in my early 50’s and having ended an abusive relationship with an alcoholic. I am now fully aware of the abuse and my codependency. My sister is still in denial about our childhood and is married to a verbally abusive man. I know I need to get back to the Coda groups. Recently, there was a man that I am attracted to but I know that he is unavailable emotionally. I finally honored myself and said no to just sex when I want a healthy relationship. I felt a power and strength in me that I feel can begin to heal the emotional dysfunction within myself. I feel if I keep honoring healthy behavior for me and others, that this will pave the way to me becoming more powerful than the codependency. I know I am no longer powerless over codependency which took a long time to discover. I am also asserting myself more in daily interactions with others and friendships and family.

 

Blake W 12/21/16