WHAT DO I GET OUT OF SERVICE WORK?

When I came into program, I had given, given, given – until I
could no longer give. Then I get in program, and am told service is good, part of this
program is giving back. And I said to myself "What are you, NUTS?! I am not doing for
anyone anymore. Everyone takes and wants me to give. I am done with that!"

Then I met people in program who I really respected and wanted to get
to know. They were doing service, and the only way I could get to know them was to join in
(at that time, I didn’t realize I could just ask them how they work their program,
how the changes occurred for them). So I joined, and I got to see others modeling behavior
that I liked, talking about their programs and how they worked them and where they were in
their program. And I wanted more. Still, I did not realize I could just ask for
information. I thought the only value I had as a human being was what I did, so I
volunteered to do more service. And I got to meet more people in recovery, and hear more
about working a program of recovery, and actually start having relationships with people
who had values and ethics and morals. And I began to work my program in earnest, and talk
with these people I respected about where I was. I discovered I was not alone, but things
could be different if I was willing. So I continued to do service; and did too much,
thinking what if no one else volunteered? Then the program would go away; so I raised my
hand again and again. As I continued to work my program, and learn from others, and share
my true self, I learned if I continued to do it all, no one else need ever volunteer. So,
I decided what I wanted to do, and let the other things be taken on by people interested
in doing service. I continue to do service, as I get far more than I give. I have learned
what it is to have a relationship based on honesty and trust; I have learned what it means
to work a program of recovery in CoDA, and what it means to give back. Giving back, for
me, means I accept my place in the universe. I acknowledge I am part of the universe, and
I am willing to share in the responsibility of having CoDA there for me and others. I have
people who love me enough to give honest feedback, when I ask for it, and let me know when
I have fallen off the bus. They give me a hand up, help me brush off the dust, and then I
can again get on the bus with my Higher Power driving. I could not have learned or
experienced these things unless I was willing to do service. I do not regret one moment of
the service I have done; the rewards have been huge. And what do I give? An hour or two,
whatever I can spare, in areas of interest to me… I give a little service, and I get so
much. What a great deal!

Mary I.