Minding My Own Business

I started attending 12-Step meetings when I met a man who was in AA. I attended Al-Anon and ACA, and then Nar-Anon. All were helpful, but somehow something was missing. Then, I found CoDA!

I grew up in a family where sibling rivalry was so bad it was actually violent. Our parents only showed favor to one of us and ignored the rest. Five of us fought to be that favored child in the sun for a brief time before being cast into the darkness while another one of us got to be on the top of the heap.

This behavior has gone on for many years. Backstabbing, undermining, poison pen letters, mocking… all against each other. No loyalty or kindness. No topic was off limits if it could torment each other.

Now the parents are gone. We fought like dogs over who could control our parents as they weakened. There is no money involved. Control was our goal and to brag about who was the favorite.

Now we are estranged yet still enmeshed. We all still have the same mean backbiting behavior but use texting instead of writing.

CoDA is helping me at last to stop and mind my own business. I don’t waste time wondering what any of my siblings are doing even though they still attempt to draw me back into that old behavior.

CoDA is like a life raft I stay on to avoid that cold swamp I used to live in.

Thank you so much!

Evelyn R. 01/23/2024