Newcomers

I find it helpful sometimes to remember what it felt like to be a newcomer in a
meeting. I can remember the first meeting I attended very well. I didn’t have a
clue what to expect and didn’t know if I would be accepted. I felt inside that
nobody could be as confused as I was and I was very hesitant about sharing
anything. I had dismissed my feelings for so long, I don’t know that I even knew
what I was feeling.

I sat there and listened as the sharing passed from person to person around the
table. I heard stories and experiences that sounded just like what I was dealing
with. Yet, here was this person looking so happy and healthy; surely if they
could do it, so could I. I still felt "less-than" and it took me many, many
meetings before I felt safe enough to share from the heart.

If someone comes into a meeting now, I try to realize that they are a work in
progress, just as I was. I can’t help them by giving advice; I can’t help them
by reverting back to unhealthy behaviors; I can’t help them by "fixing" their
life. I can help them by helping myself; by being honest about myself and my
behaviors; by showing up; and by listening to those first attempts at crossing
that bridge into healthy living.

Camilla P.