I have been in CoDA for over a year now. My husband has been in CoDA for two years and he introduced it to me once I regained some health, dignity and strength after almost dying from abusing alcohol.

I had never had a place where I could share my experience, strengths and hopes before. Nor did I think anyone wanted to hear about them.

After more than 50 years of not being able to speak, to now be encouraged to speak in order to heal seems so foreign to me. 

“Suck it up. Get over it. Don’t let people see your weaknesses lest they use them against you. Don’t trust, don’t laugh, don’t cry. Sit. Stand up! Why are you standing? Sit down.”

I was a puppet being manipulated into every which way but me.

The meetings are so helpful, but some of the best meetings I’ve had have been in the middle of the night when neither my husband nor I can sleep. Here is where the most powerful and vulnerable meetings take place. 

Pillow Talk. We confide, share, confess and discuss our recovery process, our relationships and the like. We take our own inventory and receive loving, supporting feedback from each other. We find humor in our mistakes and discuss how we may handle situations better in the future and take note of where we fell short in our dealings with others and ourselves.

CoDA has strengthened our relationship and after 23 years of marriage we have been closer than we have ever been before. We learn more and grow closer each day, as we gain a better understanding of each other and ourselves. I love CoDA and how it’s helping me heal myself and my relationship with others. But my most favorite meetings are the pillow talks, where we come together perfectly separate as one.

Pamela W. December 23rd, 2019