When I ignore my need for recovery I go into states of self-delusion, illusion, self-hate, magical thinking, isolation, superiority, and inferiority. When I sit in the truth that I need help and support, I humble myself to my higher power and seek recovery. My higher power wants me to recover so that I can be what I am meant to be, precious and free.
Steps are steps for a reason. The only way out is through. I once went to a guitar shop and a guy heard me play and asked me if I wanted to learn how to get better faster. “Yes, of course,” I said. He told me there are no shortcuts, but if I really wanted to get better sooner, I had to go slower.
I get so angry sometimes that I am not where I want to be, but in that moment, if I surrender my will, I realize, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And it is all part of the recovery journey. It’s okay that I didn’t play guitar today, but tomorrow is a great day to figure out the chord to a new song.
Alison M. 2/24/22