Sitting in my CoDA meeting I looked around at the circle of faces. No two expressions alike. There were half-smiles, intense brow furrowing like one gets when trying to absorb as much information as possible. “I love it here” I thought. Then I thought of an amusing analogy that all the people are like houses and within each house is a soul. Each soul is different, just as every house is decorated differently on the inside and outside. It reflects who we are on the inside. What I went through in my life has decorated my soul in such an amazingly profound way. If you ever walk in my house, my soul will hit you hard! Heck, probably from my driveway it would hit you. This vast difference between my past and another’s past can make having healthy relationships difficult at times, but CoDA is giving me the tools to have healthier, happier and more respectful relationships. I hope to lose some weight in my CoDA program, and letting go of resentments by better understanding others is how I plan to do this.
Every house reflects a person’s soul. Cluttered space equals a cluttered mind. A dark space perpetuates dark thoughts, dark colors. And light? Now that’s the ticket. I am the sort of person that needs light to be happy, but I also know it’s important for me to embrace my darkness as well because many answers are hidden there.
With the help of my CoDA program and therapy I am starting to bring so much of this darkness into the light to be transformed into something wonderful. It’s merely my scared inner child who was snuffed out from the get-go finally coming out from under the bed and taking that hand that won’t beat or slap or hit her. This particular hand reaching for me now is one of light, love, patience, and understanding. It’s the light of my Higher Power and the program of Codependents Anonymous. I would never visit someone’s house and be disrespectful, so why would I disrespect the body of the person that houses their decorated soul? The neighborhood would be so boring and stagnant if all the houses looked the same. Thanks so much for reading my story.
In Peace Love and Understanding,
Pamela W. Feb. 2020