Co-NNections Recovery Stories

Stability From Service In CoDA…


Stability From Service In CoDA

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Stability From Service In CoDA


In
May of 2003, I came to appreciate how stabilizing my CoDA service work
is to my life. Needing all the stability I can get, the realization
prompted me to accept the chairperson position vacancy for the service
committee known as the Outreach Committee.

When I first came
into CoDA, I was in personal crisis and was not capable of any true
service work. My history included over functioning and lots of
community service. Lacking good boundaries, this community work
depleted me. I was often tired and resentful. I somehow knew that I
should not
follow the same path in CoDA so I resisted the urge to
volunteer just because no one else was doing so. I didn’t rescue my
CoDA fellowship.

I worked the steps on an entirely imperfect
schedule and life began to get better for me. Slowly I emerged into a
new level of awareness about service. My first official service job was
organizing the phone list for my Wed night homegroup. My second service
job was volunteering to chair meetings. In the meetings I attend,
chairing is a one time job, neither monthly nor longer. In hindsight I
see I served in unofficial ways by my friendliness towards newcomers
and helping set up or put away chairs.

Three years into CoDA
recovery, I volunteered for a year long commitment as a group service
representative for our newly formed regional Intergroup and at the same
time at the national level as a committee member of the Outreach
Committee.

When, in the spring of 2003, my personal life hit
another pretty big bump, the repercussions were different in large part
because of the work I have done for the Outreach Committee and my local
Intergroup. Oh to be sure, I am definitely still a codependent with
boundary struggles and character
defects, but those struggles and
defects aren’t nearly as hideous as once they were. I attribute this
not only to working a program of recovery but in large part, working a
program of recovery that includes a substantial amount of service work.

Much
study of the Twelve Traditions and CoDA literature has helped me along
the way with the service I undertake. I also find prayer and meditation
(working Step 11) to be integral to my stability and recovery with
regards to service.

After one year as a GSR, I resigned. To
date, no one has filled the vacancy. I am saddened by this unfilled
need but I know that even in CoDA, I can not do everything. I can only
do what my Higher Power calls me to do. I do not always enjoy what my
Higher Power calls me to do but I can always
(eventually) see the gifts and benefits of answering the call.

Erin Q. (2004)
 

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